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April 29, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
I haven’t been blogging lately because we have been occupied with company. On Friday, my mom drove all the way from Baltimore to visit with us. We had a wonderful time even though it forced me to leave my safe place from the right corner of the sofa to experience life in a way similar to how I used to before my husband came along with television and high-speed Internet. (I blame him for all my sedentary ways.)
Of course we had a lovely visit with my mom and I had to resist the urge to kidnap her when she left on Monday morning. It’s so hard to say goodbye to someone you love and miss so much. If only the weekends went as slowly as the work days, but in an enjoyable sort of way.
Here are some pictures from the weekend fun, a hike at Dupont Park and watching the whitewater Olympic trials at the National Whitewater Center right here in Charlotte.
At least when your visitors go, they leave behind nice memories and a clean house (sometimes it seems like the only way to get the house clean).
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April 22, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
Hope your Earth Day has been green and environmentally friendly! I’m sure you’ve seen lots of guides to reducing your CO2 footprint with suggestions such as changing your light bulbs and toting your canvas bags to the store, but as a long-time tree-hugger, I can’t resist requesting that if you’re trying to minimize your consumption, you consider your lifestyle habits.
There are so many things we can do to reduce our impact. We take for granted our grocery stores full of fresh food year-round. We forget to think about how far it was shipped to get to us. We are so incredibly lucky with so much food, but we eat too much and far more than we need. Some reports suggest that 90% of commercial fish are gone.
We have an attitude of entitlement about what we have. Our voracious appetites, coupled with our growing population, are too much for our earth with her finite resources, to satiate. I worry sometimes what will be left for the next generation? Will they inherit a world of war over food and water? Instead of waiting for the worst-case scenario, doing nothing, and assuming that catastrophic predictions are inflated or exaggerated, why not err on the side of caution? If we don’t, and the predictions were right, how will we ever justify our selfishness to our descendants? Or to ourselves?
One easy way to reduce our impact is to consider the packaging of the products we buy. One day I was staring at the liquid soap bottle in my shower thinking, “This is such a waste.” I remember reading not long ago about a man who saved all his waste for a year. You can imagine that he was surrounded by piles of empty bottles, cartons, and toothpaste tubes. What a luxurious world where our waste just disappears and we never have to think about it again. How many of my empty liquid soap and shampoo bottles are sitting in a landfill? Even despite my efforts to be a conscious shopper? That day, I switched back to bar soap. Now, I buy in bulk when possible for beans, nuts, and rice. It’s just a small fraction of the packaging though. There is so much other waste I wish I could eliminate, if only there were a choice. (I could save a lot of glass bottles if I had my own wine barrel, for example.) We must demand better choices from the manufacturers and vote with our dollars.
Reduce, reuse, recycle. Reducing is the first step. We live in a consumption-oriented society, where too often our worth as a human being is estimated in a snap judgment by the stuff we own and wear. Deep down, we might think, “Who cares!” or “That’s silly!” but on some level, if we want to be part of society, we know we must participate to some degree. Perhaps more than we desire. The pressure is there. We are social beings after all, so we must either find like-minded people, go along, or reconcile being ostracized and have the willpower to eschew cultural habits that don’t reflect our real beliefs.
How are environmentalists portrayed in the media? Not as a group of intelligent, discerning people with a strong grounding in science and nature, not as people to admire and emulate, but as extremists and nutcases who value people less than the environment (as if the health of humans is independent of the environment), people who have an agenda like saving owls or salmon to the detriment of someone’s pocketbook. Hippies who don’t understand the concept of economy. What’s missing is the discussion of the eco-system. High school biology. We are interdependent. There’s always an angle that somehow neglects to mention what the use of an economy will be when when we have no fish left to eat. (Putting aside all other arguments about the intrinsic value of every living creature.) There’s the omission of the angle that one person’s profits do not supersede the needs of the collective. As a species, we are notoriously short-sighted and we continue to be so at our own peril.
There’s the trouble. There are some that believe that the government doesn’t have a right to tell us what to do. It’s our land. We own it! We can pollute it as we wish. We’re free to make whatever profits we can. This is capitalism! This thinking reflects an erroneous notion that we are individuals, independent of each other. But we are not. We are one. The drycleaner who pollutes the stream behind his property that flows into my drinking water affects me and my neighbors. Our collective need as a society for clean water is more important than one man’s desire to freely pollute his property. Our collective need as humans that salmon not go extinct is more important than the bank account of a few. No one person’s profits are so important that he has a right to choose to eliminate a species from all the earth, from all of us, for the rest of time. We share this earth. We all “own” it.
In Baltimore, I worked for a drycleaner who had five stores. Every store had a stream running behind it. The owner knowingly and deliberately disposed of his drycleaning chemicals by dumping them into the streams. It was cheaper, you see. He was eventually caught and fined by the EPA, but he admitted to his young hourly workers that the fine was insignificant and not enough to make him change his behavior. A friend of mine lived downstream from one of the cleaners. The same river he polluted ran behind her house, and is the same river she played in. Now, at 40, she has breast cancer and I wonder, is there a connection?
This is why we need effective regulation.
We have messages to consume all around us. Powerful images fly at us from the television. Paco Underhill discusses in his book, “Why We Buy, the Science of Shopping,” how much television influences our expectations and standards. Not only are we comparing ourselves to our neighbors, friends, and coworkers, but we’re evaluating “how well we’re doing” by comparing ourselves to the fictional characters we see on television. What’s more is that advertisers are smart about the psychology of how people operate. They convince us that we need a product we never knew existed, and survived quite well without, by creating a feeling of inadequacy in us. Consider how many products you buy because of how they might improve your image, or how good they’ll make you look. (I do too.)
I, too, even as an ardent environmentalist struggle with all the enticing objects there are to buy. Here’s just one story of many from my own experience. A couple of years ago, one morning as I was preparing to do my DVD workout, I became engrossed in an infomercial for a Sleep Number bed. On and on they went about how much better one can feel after having a good night’s sleep. Who doesn’t want to operate at her peak and feel amazing after a great night’s sleep? One thing led to another, and after a conversation with a colleague, I found myself owning a memory foam mattress topper. It’s a long story, but while my husband loved it and would have married it if he could have, I spent months without sleep and discovered the horrors of night-sweats that await me at menopause. It took considerable effort to convince my husband to let go of the thing while I cursed myself for buying it and evaluated the possibility of setting it on fire. I didn’t have to start a fire and managed to wrest it out from under my very disappointed husband to let the hateful thing off-gas its offensive chemical smell into the guest room for a few months. By the time I aggressively pushed it off on an unwilling friend to get rid of it once and for all, I had learned a valuable lesson about the dangers of trying to improve an already perfectly good, or as I discovered, good enough, situation.
We’d do well to reduce our exposure to advertising, these messages to buy more, and it would go a long way to reducing our consumption. All those wonderful products that are going to immeasurably improve our lives, seldom deliver as promised. Though some do. I’d hate to return to a world without my IPOD, or Kitchen Aid mixer, but somehow we need to find a way to be discriminating about the things we can’t live without. We’re so lucky and spoiled already. All it takes is one issue of National Geographic to remind us how much better we live than most of the rest of the world. If only we could be peaceful and end our quest for more, more, more. (I’m sure my husband would have a comment about this regarding my love of clothes. But I do so love them.)
I’ll let that end my diatribe for Earth Day. You had to expect one from me, right? Two things everyone knows about me, I love the earth and I love my Orioles. I can’t resist talking about either.
Happy Greening!
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April 12, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
Here’s a little medley of information.
World Peace: How do you make strides toward world peace? One way is to do some investigating to dispel myths and misinformation and share what you’ve learned. John Esposito and Dalia Mogahed conducted a Gallup poll to learn more about Muslim attitudes in What Do a Billion Muslims Really Think?”. You can learn more by reading a summary of the book or listen to the interview with the author. Not surprisingly, we have a lot in common in terms of our attitudes.
Parenting in the Over-Indulged Age: Forgive my critical lead-in, but as an invitee to too many second and third-baby baby showers and trips to Babies R Us for people I barely know, I’ve found myself disgusted on more than one occasion with the silliness, excess, and worse, sense of entitlement some parents seem to have that their precious little one have essentially every baby product ever invented. My, how did our parents survive without diaper wipe warmers and “potty coaches?” I’m often appalled at how much stuff people buy for their children, that if you ask me, isn’t beneficial to either their emotional or intellectual development. Whatever happened to hand-me-downs? Sometimes, I think parents have lost perspective. Finally, someone else thinks so too. Pamela Paul discusses this phenomena in her new book Parenting, Inc.. In her research she found that the average American child gets 70 new toys a year. 70! Isn’t that incomprehensible? No wonder so many people have credit card debt spiraling out of control. Why not ask for a stock market investment instead of hundreds of stuffed animals that will end up in a dump?
In full disclosure, I’m the person who bought a heated bed for my kitty, so I really don’t have any room to talk. But then, I didn’t register for gifts for any of my cats. (Though the thought has occurred to me.)
Willpower: Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight and form a habit of practicing the violin every day and finding it difficult to accomplish anything. Don’t be hard on yourself. It turns out we have a finite amount of willpower. (Maybe I’m not so lazy, after all.)
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April 11, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
Today is the last excerpt of Martin Luther King’s speeches. For now anyway. There is enough material to keep me posting for a month. There’s so much more from his “loving enemies” speech that I want to share, but instead I’m going to switch gears and share an excerpt from his Letter From Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963. It was a week ago that I chose this quote before there was any news about extinguished Olympic flames and protestors, but again King’s words are as timeless as they are wise.
Do you ever wonder at our distaste for protest? In a country where we claim to so value the first amendment and the right to free speech, it seems that we hold protestors in such contempt, or at least annoyance. We find their reminders of injustices inconvenient when we’re trying to get lost in the enjoyment of the Olympic ceremonies.
Protests take place at the wrong time, in the wrong way, using the wrong methods, and disrespectful of “authority,” with which we should only ever silently disagree. Some might argue that human rights abuses are inconvenient. Some might argue that a war protest is not disrespect for troops, but an act of love for the precious lives that might be prematurely lost, and the psychological trauma that will not be eradicated over a lifetime, for soliders who will never receive benefits commensurate with the sacrifices they made.
It’s easier for our government to draw negative attention to protestors and away from its own misdeeds than perhaps to succumb to the interests of the people it’s meant to represent. When writing letters and quiet protests are not effective in getting a government to respond, what then should be done? When we don’t have million dollar campaign contributions, what recourse is left to get the attention of our government? If China, deaf until now, was embarassed enough to end it’s human rights abuses, what would we think of the Olympic ceremony protestors then? Would we admire their courage?
If nothing else, even if we don’t agree with the methods used, perhaps we should admire the courage of people who are trying to make conditions better for others. And maybe wonder why we’re not joining in the protests with them.
Again, enough of my blathering.
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We should never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was “legal” and everything the Hungarian freedom fighters did in Hungary was “illegal.” It was “illegal” to aid and comfort a Jew in Hitler’s Germany. Even so, I am sure that, had I lived in Germany at the time, I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers. If today I lived in a Communist country where certain principles dear to the Christian faith are suppressed, I would openly advocate disobeying that country’s antireligious laws.
Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.
Hope you enjoyed this edition of Heros.
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April 10, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
A recent issue of Discover featured two remarkable scientists:
Elizabeth Blackburn is figuring out the role of telomerase in cell replication and aging. Her work with telomerase shows promise in finding a cure for cancer and controlling metastasis.
Hans Rosling who invented Trendalyzer, a visual representation of statistics useful in illuminating trends that will help spotlight societal ills like poverty, CO2 emissions, and mortality rates. Rosling has also worked to make data more widely available.
I wish I did something that made a difference in the world. That must be a nice feeling. One day, when I quit or get fired, I’ll get to share all the tales I have pent up. For now, let’s just say that I help support an evil empire.
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April 10, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
Here is one of my favorite passages from MLK’s speech on “Loving Thy Enemies” (as if I could choose). Again, I’ve divided up the paragraph, but choosing the parts to highlight was a challenge, as every word is powerful.
When I read King’s words I think about their significance in our personal relationships, their wisdom for our nation, and their considerations for the attitudes and values we hold in the more abstract sense. I have trouble understanding suicide bombers, religious or political extremists who want to oppress others, the insatiable greed that drives people to unspeakable acts, but each of us is limited by our experience and understanding of the world. Perhaps these people are fueled by hate, and perhaps not, but either way, a combination of culture foremost, and DNA and environment set them on a course, just as we were set on a course, and still within them, within each of us, is the power for great love. Like the Indian proverb says, it just depends on which wolf is fed.
I may not understand the acts of some, but I cannot judge. How can I say that given the same set of circumstances I would behave better? I want to believe I am different. I want to believe in my own goodness, that my goodness is better and purer than the goodness of others. It is easier to give myself permission to judge others and feel superior by comparison, to set myself apart as somehow infused with more purity of spirit. But this is naive. We are more alike than we are different.
So I may not understand, and it is not easy, indeed, sometimes it seems impossible, but it behooves us to follow King’s advice and achieve our noblest abilities, to love and respect others as a unique realization of creation even if we condemn their acts. To love someone is not to condone all they do, it is only an acknowlegement of how frail and fallible we are. This admission of weakness, of the impossibility of perfection, cannot be made without a long stare in the mirror in which we cannot hide from ourselves our own many transgressions. The forgiveness of ourselves permits the forgiveness of others, and vice versa. It is all tied up together and forgiveness allows us to emerge from the shadows, perhaps still afraid of our shame, but knowing that weakness is the price of breath.
Always to remember, there but for the Grace of God, go I.
We’re better served by shining light in the darkness to help others to see the way to peace than by standing on the sidelines critiquing, all the while congratulating ourselves, taking credit for favorable circumstances over which we had no control. To use King’s metaphor, we must know when to dim the lights, when to not fan the flames and nourish the fire…
Enough of my opining. Now for the words of the truly wise Martin Luther King. Please take the time to let the words sink in as you read them.
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The Greek language comes out with another word for love. It is the word agape. And agape is more than eros; agape is more than philia; agape is something of the understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill for all men. It is a love that seeks nothing in return.
It is an overflowing love; it’s what theologians would call the love of God working in the lives of men.
And when you rise to love on this level, you begin to love men, not because they are likeable, but because God loves them. You look at every man, and you love him because you know God loves him. And he might be the worst person you’ve ever seen.
Now for the few moments left, let us move from the practical how to the theoretical why. It’s not only necessary to know how to go about loving your enemies, but also to go down into the question of why we should love our enemies. I think the first reason that we should love our enemies, and I think this was at the very center of Jesus’ thinking, is this: that hate for hate only intensifies the existence of hate and evil in the universe.
If I hit you and you hit me and I hit you back and you hit me back and go on, you see, that goes on ad infinitum. It just never ends.
Somewhere somebody must have a little sense, and that’s the strong person.
The strong person is the person who can cut off the chain of hate, the chain of evil. And that is the tragedy of hate, that it doesn’t cut it off. It only intensifies the existence of hate and evil in the universe. Somebody must have religion enough and morality enough to cut it off and inject within the very structure of the universe that strong and powerful element of love.
I think I mentioned before that sometime ago my brother and I were driving one evening to Chattanooga, Tennessee, from Atlanta. He was driving the car. And for some reason the drivers were very discourteous that night. They didn’t dim their lights; hardly any driver that passed by dimmed his lights. And I remember very vividly, my brother A. D. looked over and in a tone of anger said: “I know what I’m going to do. The next car that comes along here and refuses to dim the lights, I’m going to fail to dim mine and pour them on in all of their power.”
And I looked at him right quick and said: “Oh no, don’t do that. There’d be too much light on this highway, and it will end up in mutual destruction for all. Somebody got to have some sense on this highway.”
Somebody must have sense enough to dim the lights, and that is the trouble, isn’t it? That as all of the civilizations of the world move up the highway of history, so many civilizations, having looked at other civilizations that refused to dim the lights, and they decided to refuse to dim theirs. And Toynbee tells that out of the twenty-two civilizations that have risen up, all but about seven have found themselves in the junkheap of destruction.
It is because civilizations fail to have sense enough to dim the lights.
And if somebody doesn’t have sense enough to turn on the dim and beautiful and powerful lights of love in this world, the whole of our civilization will be plunged into the abyss of destruction. And we will all end up destroyed because nobody had any sense on the highway of history. Somewhere somebody must have some sense.
Men must see that force begets force, hate begets hate, toughness begets toughness. And it is all a descending spiral, ultimately ending in destruction for all and everybody. Somebody must have sense enough and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate and the chain of evil in the universe. And you do that by love.
King’s metaphor about us having the sense to dim the lights reminds of the many metaphors about sharing the light:
Yes, we need to have the courage to dim the lights. By doing so, we brighten the light within.
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April 9, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
Tonight starts American Idol Gives Back 2008. If you want to contribute, you can find the website here. The website also has links to the individual organizations, to which you can contributed directly.
You don’t have to want to give, you just have to give.
Levels of Tzedakah
Here are the different levels of tzedakah. Even the least “meritorious,” is still meritorious:
Giving begrudgingly.
Giving less that you should, but giving it cheerfully.
Giving after being asked.
Giving before being asked.
Giving when you do not know the recipient’s identity, but the recipient knows your identity.
Giving when you know the recipient’s identity, but the recipient doesn’t know your identity.
Giving when neither party knows the other’s identity.
Enabling the recipient to become self-reliant.
It is not our choice to help others in need, it is our obligation. It is an act of justice.
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April 9, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
More MLK. Today, I split up the paragraph so as to make the words stand out. I’m hoping you at least read the bold parts if you don’t read it all. Just another one of my tricks.
So somehow the “isness” of our present nature is out of harmony with the eternal “oughtness” that forever confronts us. And this simply means this: that within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good. When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals.
The person who hates you most has some good in him; even the nation that hates you most has some good in it; even the race that hates you most has some good in it.
And when you come to the point that you look in the face of every man and see deep down within him what religion calls “the image of God,” you begin to love him in spite of.
No matter what he does, you see God’s image there. There is an element of goodness that he can never sluff off. Discover the element of good in your enemy.
And as you seek to hate him, find the center of goodness and place your attention there and you will take a new attitude.
Another way that you love your enemy is this: when the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy, that is the time which you must not do it. There will come a time, in many instances, when the person who hates you most, the person who has misused you most, the person who has gossiped about you most, the person who has spread false rumors about you most, there will come a time when you will have an opportunity to defeat that person. It might be in terms of a recommendation for a job; it might be in terms of helping that person to make some move in life. That’s the time you must do it. That is the meaning of love. In the final analysis, love is not this sentimental something that we talk about. It’s not merely an emotional something.
Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men.
It is the refusal to defeat any individual. When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power, you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system.
Perhaps, like me, your favorite philosophy is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But no, we must suppress our pugilistic urges and always seek the path of kindness and healing.
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April 8, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
More from Love Thy Enemies. (Oh, don’t be such a baby. It only looks long. Read the whole thing and you’ll be glad you did!)
But after looking at these things and admitting these things, we must face the fact that an individual might dislike us because of something that we’ve done deep down in the past, some personality attribute that we possess, something that we’ve done deep down in the past and we’ve forgotten about it; but it was that something that aroused the hate response within the individual. That is why I say, begin with yourself. There might be something within you that arouses the tragic hate response in the other individual.
…Democracy is the greatest form of government to my mind that man has ever conceived, but the weakness is that we have never touched it. Isn’t it true that we have often taken necessities from the masses to give luxuries to the classes? Isn’t it true that we have often in our democracy trampled over individuals and races with the iron feet of oppression? Isn’t it true that through our Western powers we have perpetuated colonialism and imperialism? And all of these things must be taken under consideration as we look at Russia. We must face the fact that the rhythmic beat of the deep rumblings of discontent from Asia and Africa is at bottom a revolt against the imperialism and colonialism perpetuated by Western civilization all these many years. The success of communism in the world today is due to the failure of democracy to live up to the noble ideals and principles inherent in its system.
A second thing that an individual must do in seeking to love his enemy is to discover the element of good in his enemy, and every time you begin to hate that person and think of hating that person, realize that there is some good there and look at those good points which will over-balance the bad points.
I’ve said to you on many occasions that each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality. We’re split up and divided against ourselves. And there is something of a civil war going on within all of our lives. There is a recalcitrant South of our soul revolting against the North of our soul. And there is this continual struggle within the very structure of every individual life. There is something within all of us that causes us to cry out with Ovid, the Latin poet, “I see and approve the better things of life, but the evil things I do.” There is something within all of us that causes us to cry out with Plato that the human personality is like a charioteer with two headstrong horses, each wanting to go in different directions. There is something within each of us that causes us to cry out with Goethe, “There is enough stuff in me to make both a gentleman and a rogue.” There is something within each of us that causes us to cry out with Apostle Paul, “I see and approve the better things of life, but the evil things I do.”
Of course, MLK wasn’t talking about me. I have nothing of a schizophrenic personality and always do the right thing. But the rest of you, out there, take this to heart. (If you’ve been reading long enough, you know that’s a big lie and I have two minds about everything and am constantly fighting my own evil.)
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April 7, 2008 by enchantingsunshine.
I’m married to an alien. Literally. It’s clear that if we ever move to England, I’m doomed. I won’t have a single friend and the preponderance of my time will be spent nervously avoiding the blank stares I’ll receive in response to my jokes. My husband absolutely loves the show “Top Gear. He cries with laughter. Yet, “Little Miss Sunshine” which left me clutching my sides, often in the fetal position, in between a couple of insurance trips to safely empty my bladder, left him staring wild-eyed at me.
Calling all Brits. Please, explain it to me. I get “The Holy Grail.” “Top Gear,” on the other hand, leaves me scratching my head, or at least, not doubled-over.
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