Things never to do: Remodeling the bathroom

August 18, 2007 by enchantingsunshine.

Last year my husband and I got married at our house. We’re not posh or very concerned about impressing people so a home wedding was perfect for us. Our number one priority was to have a special day that was enjoyable for our guests, fun for us, and offered delicious food (being from the North, I believe in having real food at a wedding and not “heavy hors d’oeuvres” like they do in the South).

As part of our at home ceremony, to make the house a little more presentable, we did a little remodeling. We had a pretty nasty linoleum floor in the kitchen that had been patched badly by the previous owner, and some worn carpeting in the living room. We installed beautiful tile in the kitchen and hardwoods in the living room and figured it was a much better investment than money we would never see again at a caterer. We also considered redoing the floor in our master bath, but when we realized the subflooring is rotten decided to wait. We had enough to manage with wedding details and the small remodeling projects in the rest of the house.

So…now fast forward nine months. We decide to investigate this whole bathroom remodel project again. We haven’t used our shower in a year. It needed re-caulking and with all the wedding planning, we didn’t have the time, energy or motivation. Then after the wedding, we figured we’d remodel soon anyway, so why bother?

We decide that if we’re going to spend the money to put in a nice floor, we might as well finally do that luxury shower we’ve been dreaming about. We take our happy selves to the tile store we used for the kitchen, thinking naively that we would look at a few books, pick out some fixtures and go home with a scheduled install date.

Oh, silly persons.

I thought that I felt overwhelmed planning the wedding last year.

When the installer came to measure our bathroom he suggested that we also replace the tub. Currently we have a fiberglass jacuzzi bath that is an all in one unit - not sunken. It never looked so bad to me, but when you spend all that money for the nice shower and the nice floor, why keep the cheap looking bath. Oh, and you know bathroom vanities these days are fancier and taller, and we’re tall, and if you’re gonna spend all that money, might as well replace the perfectly good cabinets too. And if I’m doing all that, I decided, that I was going to go all the way and replace the big frameless mirror and create some space in that tiny little bathroom by installing a sunken medicine cabinet. And if I do that, I might as well have power run to it so that my toothbrush power cord isn’t looking nasty snaking out of the cabinet.

As if all those details are not overwhelming enough, we also have to pick out all the fixtures, all the detailed plumbing bits that make the shower. Then we have to find the replacement bathtub that will fit in that small space. Did you know that there are air tubs now? That way you don’t have to worry about the bacteria and mold forming in the lines and jets. Well which is better, air or water jacuzzi? Investigate some more. Now, find a cabinet…

Now find a carpenter. The first carpenter went awol. Now find a new carpenter. Explain all over again what we want with the medicine cabinets and privacy wall.

Now pick a tile and figure out how to combine different sizes to make a pattern from millions of different possibilities. Still haven’t called the glass door people. One more thing to do.

Are you feeling overwhelmed yet?

Six months have passed since we started thinking about redoing the bathroom again. Most days, I want to just give up and forget the whole thing. If the subfloor weren’t already rotten and needing replacing I wouldn’t bother. However, when I sell this house, if that day should come after finally perfecting every bit of it, there’s no way I’m discounting the price because of the bathroom floor.

Fortunately I have a husband who isn’t easily rattled. He’s patient (he puts up with me) and isn’t given to emotional break downs like I am. Sure he feels overwhelmed too, but he’s the kind of person who can spend months doing research without thinking, “if I have to think about this one more minute, I’m going to lose my mind.” I, on the other hand, have freak out moments when I just start crying in frustration about, not just this, but every other aspect of my life that I can’t seem to get ahead of (at the moment there are many huge things, but those are subjects for a different post).

Though I’m impatient to at least get this process started - something ordered, a demo date scheduled - I am so grateful to my husband. I used to think that I was deliberate and a researcher, but I am no match for him. I know that when he takes charge of a project, he will not act until he has researched every minute detail. He is thorough and smart. I know that I am safe in his hands. The finished project will be right and it will be perfect, and I will not have to spend future energy re-doing a badly done job. I have no worries when he manages a project.

All I must do is be patient.

So back and forth he goes to the bathroom with the measuring tape and jots down numbers, and clicks on websites. There is no one like him and I cannot and never want to imagine my life without him.

All I must do is be patient.

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