There are so many ideas about the meaning of life. We hate to think that we’re the victim of random events. It’s hard to accept not only that we have limited control over our destiny, but that we have no protection from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

We seek comfort in philosophies that offer us answers, explanations for that which we don’t like, and solutions for getting what we want.

I believe that we could grow as individuals and a society if we would internalize the parts of these philosophies that help to make us better people, and simultaneously, reject those things which serve to divide us and that which leads us to magical thinking without solving any problems. Sadly, I think there is either too much that divides us or that we tend to focus on just those parts.

This is what I mean. On Oprah last week there was a panelist of guests discussing the new philosophy about energy, called “the laws of attraction.” There’s much of merit in this philosophy. Who would disagree that happiness comes from focusing on our blessings, continually expressing gratitude for our lives. The other part of the philosophy is that everything in your life, you created. There’s a big difference between taking ownership and being accountable for the decisions that you’ve made in life, and saying that everything that happens to you was at your own hand. The fact is, we are not that powerful. We make decisions and there are consequences for our actions. But we do not control where we were born, our genetic makeup, and consequently, that part of our disposition that is controlled by our hormonal levels (noradrenaline, serotonin, etc), and our environmental influences. To suggest that someone with a chronic illness is at fault for their suffering because they didn’t exude enough positive energy, is not just insulting, but downright hateful.

The problem with accepting any of these philosophies wholesale is that we’re looking for an easy answer. It’s a cop-out to say that people those who are suffering have always created their situations. Karma! It’s so much less painful to think they did it to themselves. That way we don’t have to feel suffering in empathy, and we absolve ourselves of the responsibility of acting, performing acts of social justice, or trying to make the world better. Furthermore, we use it as a way to feel morally superior. We’re not in that situation, so therefore we must be better.

This is my ardent wish and I often have to avoid lest I mount my soapbox. I wish that we would seek the most compassionate and loving beliefs of all philosophies and use them to better ourselves personally, and collectively as a people. I wish that we would let go of control, and our great need to impose justice and logic on a random universe. That we accept responsibility and the simple laws of cause and effect where it applies (man drives drunk and causes an accident) and stop creating meaning where there isn’t any (the other driver was injured because it was their karma to be in the wrong place at the wrong time). We should use our intellect to create good and not to create more suffering, judgment and pain in the world, particularly where it is neither helpful, nor true.

I wish that we would stop latching onto platitudes as a way to avoid the inevitable pain of social injustice. Instead of “god has his reasons” or “everything happens for a reason,” when we feel the pain of injustice, I wish instead we would spend our energy acting for positive change. Some pain we must accept and some we absolutely should not. We should never, ever use the idea of karma to explain events. When someone is one-legged and homeless, never should we presume this is his lot because of something he did in a last life, or his lack of willing positive energy hard enough.

If we believe in God, we should use prayer not as a way to manipulate God into doing what we want (as if we could! we’re that powerful?!), but as a tool to ask God to direct us, to help us find the answers and direction, the right steps for enacting positive change. Prayer should not contribute to our magical thinking that we can change the outcome by our entreaties. As my rabbi says, “We should pray as if everything depended on God, but act as if everything depends on us.” I wish that we would abandon all this magical thinking, using prayer as a way to let us off the hook for our inaction and instead act, act, act!

Let’s stop wasting energy blaming people for their plights, but instead help them to find a way out, a way to stay out, to create a healthy lifestyle. When we have blessings, let’s eliminate arrogance, stop congratulating ourselves and instead make a habit of gratitude and action to share our many riches.

Our brains create wonderful explanations for the random, unpredictability of life. Let’s use our creativity and energy to bring about more love and peace and abandon judgment and hatefulness as a barbaric, useless tradition that no longer serves our humanity.